Have you ever sat down to watch the evening news and flashes a News Report about a woman that died with 100 cats, house full of trash and stacks of newspapers to fill 100 dump trucks? In my single days, I use to live by a lady like this. The entire neighborhood would talk about her but none of us ever went over there to see if she needed anything or if I could help her clean her house. We just talked about how could she let her house go that way.
Well now it is 7 years down the road, I am a mother of three. My children are 4, 2 , and 1 and I am starting to have a little sympathy for people who are on the news. I feel for the old lady that lived by me when I was younger.I wonder now if maybe the headlines should read ” Mother who raised 10 Children died today with 100 cats”.
Yes, I am fighting not to become her. I have learned that when you become pregnant, your shower gift should no longer be a car seat, toys, or high chairs. Everyone in the family should chip in and buy you two washer machines and dryers. Yes, my laundry room has became into a huge obstacle course of clothes for a family of five, toys that the children drag in there, Detergent powder on the floor at times because the kids are “helping me” with my laundry. You walk into my kitchen. I have dishes in the sink that I promise I am going to wash in the next five minutes but I know the phone will ring or one of the kids will make a bigger mess that I will have to attend to. My dining room table is no longer for dining. No, I cant remember the last meal served on there.I have turned it into my office.
It has my bills piled up and the kids paints, colors and the Windex that I pulled out yesterday to clean the windows but as you can guess. It never happened. So am I walked through the house one more night of putting the kids to sleep and saying to myself,” This is what happens. I have promised to clean today. I have promised to get at least 20 things on my to-do list but it has not happened.” I think to myself. This is where it starts. This is how this woman ended with the 100 cats, house full of newspapers. I bet you she was a mother. Is my life as a mother driving me insane? I don’t really think so but I do believe at times I have gotten lost in my role as a mom.
Yes, I have tried to be Super Mom, Wonder Woman, Energizer Mommy but the truth is I am not any of these. I am just a woman taking care of my family. It seems that when we become wives and mothers, Our identity becomes taking care of our husbands, our children , our house, the bills. Please don’t get me wrong, I love every minute of what God has given me. I just find that as a mother, I am taking care of so many things and taking care of my children that I have not taken care of me. What mother isn’t guilty of this. As a mom, I am realizing that When I am the Energizer Mom, It is not necessarily healthy for me or my family.
I am learning to realize that my happiness can not come from filling my schedule with kids, work, house duties. I have to take care of myself. I am learning that is is important for my family to have a mom in their life that is energized and happy with herself. I am also learning to admit that even though I love my children some days I need a break from them. I am learning that I need space just as they need their space. Even though we are mothers, We still need to be an individual.
I am finding the best way I am finding myself again is helping others but in a different way as the role I was playing as a mom. I am reminding myself the importance of high self esteem as I teach my children to love themselves. I have changed some of the music that was played in the car to cheerful music. I have put the People Magazine down and am reading inspirational books. I am learning not to feel guilty when I did not get to the work I wanted to today. This week I sat down and wrote a few of my friends letters. No not email, a true letter. I am also exercising again. I may have three little ones right behind me touching their toes but this new life style is making me a better person.
I may not be the Super Mom, Wonder Woman and The Energizer Mommy, but I know I have to continue to stay focused to take care of me Spiritually and Personally to be the mommy that my family needs. I also know that if I do these things, when I die I wont be the Old woman with 100 Cats, newspapers and all alone. I will be the woman that stayed focused, connected as a mother, wife but most importantly as an individual!